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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639224">Ganzhyllsyn's 4 Steps to a Heist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowsister/pseuds/Crowsister'>Crowsister</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Anathema [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:22:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowsister/pseuds/Crowsister</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Haldgeyss Ganzhyllsyn set a graduation test for his kids.</p><p>He didn't think it'd go <i>this</i> poorly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Anathema [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053779</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ganzhyllsyn's 4 Steps to a Heist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A quick guide to Ganzhyllsyn’s nicknames for the Ghosts:</p><p>Mismatch: Registered name Mahri Rhivesa, real name J’hustyne Grigorii. “Private Mismatch: lockpicking and physical infiltration.”</p><p>Cards: Real name unknown to the group at large, a duskwight with he/him pronouns, taller, but not all the way on the height slider for elezen. Dusky grey skin, pink eyes, darker pink hair that goes up into bright pink in a punk style. Speaks with a sort of Cajun accent. Combat style is unknown to the group at large: no visible weapons. Is obnoxious about having a deck of cards on him, hence the nickname. “Private Cards: social infiltration and voice-acting.”</p><p>Deadpan: Real name Depan Virpan, a plainsfolk lalafell with he/him pronouns, medium-height for a lala, bit chubby. Pale cork-colored skin with freckles, brown eyes, brown hair styled like a stereotypical accountant but accessorized with dorky sideburns. Speaks with a clipped deadpan most of the time (hence the nickname), borders on a British accent, sometimes borders on a New Yorker accent. Depends on how exasperated he is. Trained as an arcanist, has twitchy hands when he’s not holding a book or grimoire. “Private Deadpan: legalese, fluent in five languages, and excellent at navigation.”</p><p>Zoomies: Real name Z’omar Tia, a Sun Seeker with he/him pronouns, max height, runner’s muscle. Tan skin, red hair, tipped with black only at the ears and streaked with wild orange. Wears black facepaint in a solid bar across his face (similar to Mahri at this point in her timeline), has electric purple eyes. Pugilist training, he will solve everything with his hands somehow, someway, if you let him. Like a toddler that puts everything in his mouth, except it’s his hands instead of his mouth. “Private Zoomies: fast feet, fast mouth, fast hands.”</p><p>Refresher on Ganzhyllsyn’s description, because I can’t top this, to be honest with you:</p><p>Sergeant Haldgeyss Ganzhyllsyn was leaner than most roegadyn, could pass as a stockier elezen if it weren’t for the ears and coloration, and had a bark terrible as his bite, if his mannerisms thus far held any water. His accent was foreign rather than Limsan; maybe Sharlayan, maybe Ishgardian, or some bastard child of both. His skin was so pale that it was almost white, with the green only showing in certain lighting conditions. And his eyes were a glowing lupine yellow in both lamplight and sunlight. It was uncanny. He kept his white hair shorn short to his head and damn near hidden. Mahri could barely see it from under his helmet. He wore a bullwhip around his waist, but you could only really tell it as such if you caught sight of the handle; otherwise, it looked like a belt that supported his trousers and pistol.</p><p>Mahri’s backstory NPCs were introduced in Day 3: Muster in this series if you wanna see more of them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Alright, my small, yet fragile, yet individually unique caterpillars.” Sergeant Haldgeyss Ganzhyllsyn clapped his hands together. “Today’s the day.”</p><p>The thin, lanky roegadyn spotted a grey hand rise into the air. “Private Cards, you can speak. Hells, don’t ask permission today; it will be more organic and fun for all of us if we ditched the military decorum today.”</p><p>“Sarge,” Cards drawled, “I deeply respect the need for dramatics. I well and truly do. It’s one of my favorite ways to pass a good time. But what the hells are you talking about?”</p><p>“Today’s the day we start a heist.” Ganzhyllsyn grinned. “Graduation moon. We start prepping today, but we’ll launch our little project about 30 suns, 12 bells, and some odd change, give or take some time set aside for hiccups, shenanigans, and schemes. Come on, Private Mismatch, no need t’ raise your hand.”</p><p>“How...how do we start, sir?” Mismatch asked. “Because we’ve been learning all these lessons from each other, and I guess you’ve dubbed us ready to put them into action, but...what’s the plan?” She jumped a tad when Ganzhyllsyn ruffled her hair.</p><p>“We start by learning the <em> steps </em> to a plan.” He rolled his shoulders back. “Alright, listen close, you bright-eyed meadowlarks, step one-”</p>
<hr/>
<h4>
  <b>“-make the plan.”</b>
</h4>
<hr/><p>Haldgeyss sat back in his little foldable chair, enjoying a bit of Mor Dhonan sun as he watched his little caterpillars work from a distance. It was all well and fine to do: gods know that adventurers bully the local castrum. Hells, those Skysteel pansies could push over the leftover Garlean forces here to scavenge for parts. His kids should be OK.</p><p>If he didn’t have eyes sharpened with the quest of killing dragons for Dzemael, Haldgeyss would’ve missed their little command center. Oh, he could smell Mismatch’s fingerprints over that decision: one of the large crystal formations served as a wall for their command center. The crystal provided good interference with magitek and large and <em>odd </em>enough that if anyone had to abscond from the location, they could find their way back without getting lost. The sort of kind yet efficient thinking he’d come to expect from the girl.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em> Obstacle courses were an anchovy in the sea of the Maelstrom’s training playbook. Even if they weren’t original, they still gave a little bite to the whole affair that Ganzhyllsyn couldn’t bring himself not to include. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oschon’s left testicle, Ganzhyllsyn was surprised seeing his trainees working together on the first go. He was used to it taking a few attempts before teamwork popped up: most folks who got into this bloody department were lone wolves. Usually had to ask, “How does Internal Affairs mean Alone Affairs, idiots?” more than once. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It started with the jumping section. Hurdles you had to jump over to get through the course. No way around or under it. It was </em>
  <b><em>meant</em> </b>
  <em>to be a lesson for Deadpan, to ask for help since cynics always needed that drilled into their skull in point 64 sized font. And Ganzhyllsyn was nothing if not an early starter on these things, especially when it came to kicking a cynic in the emotional testicles. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But then, before even the first hurdle, Mismatch settled down on a knee next to Deadpan. Ganzhyllsyn saw Deadpan argue, throw his hands up, and then fall into a depressed acceptance all in the span of half a wink. That all melted away as the lalafell started cheering and grinning as Mismatch acrobatically scrambled around with him on her back, happy as a child carted about by his father. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Little bastard probably never knew that sort of movement before. Ganzhyllsyn snorted to himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then there was the trapeze. Ganzhyllsyn had spaced it to </em>
  <b>
    <em>look </em>
  </b>
  <em>like you could get across by yourself, but you needed two if you weren’t an elezen or roegadyn. Zoomies had gotten stuck there (Cards, the tall bastard, was across already), splashing about in the water below and running up yowling swear words. Mismatch and Deadpan got there, and Zoomies slowed down, ranting to them. Mismatch put Deadpan down a moment, looked at the trapeze a moment, then started explaining something, gesturing with her hands from her to Deadpan to Zoomies to the finish of the section. Ganzhyllsyn could see Zoomies’s grin from his position and immediately felt nervous. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The blasted cats flipped through the trapeze, juggling a swearing Deadpan all the while, making a rope of laughing and shrieking and getting through. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then, lastly was his favorite section. Landmines. Small ones, not really explosive, so much as shocking. He’d stolen a few gauss rounds from Skysteel a while back and figured this trick out for himself. He had a game with this section: take a sip of whiskey every time one of the recruits gets shocked. Two sips if they got buzzed by the ones on the walls. Cards, his current favorite, had given him a total of seven sips by the time the other three caught up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Mismatch looked at the seemingly empty corridor and then back at a sizzled Cards. Cards, with a sarcastic and tired air, threw one of his playing cards into the corridor. Mismatch blinked as it sizzled. She put a hand on her chin, and Haldgeyss grinned. She couldn’t figure this out on the first go. There was no way- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She turned to Deadpan, asking him a question Ganzhyllsyn was too far away to hear. Deadpan shook his head, but then Cards held up a tired hand, and his head fell back as he responded. Then, Deadpan slowly nodded. She looked to Zoomies and asked </em>
  <b><em>him</em> </b>
  <em>a question. Zoomies, much to Haldgeyss’s dismay, grinned and nodded. Mismatch gave a neat little smile, and Ganzhyllsyn watched as his favorite section was unraveled in a way unmatched by any of his previous trainees. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cards channeled his aether into Deadpan. Deadpan, with this boost, managed to summon two carbuncles at once. The two carbuncles zipped through the corridor, light enough to be safe but heavy enough to trigger his landmines. Zoomies carried Deadpan, while Mismatch led a quickly draining Cards through the safe pathway her little team was carving. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They collapsed at the end, and Haldgeyss could only say one word. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Inconceivable.” </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Aye, this had her fingerprints all over it. Glad was he that it was the Garleans getting it now.</p><p>He watched them. Mismatch would go sneaking, scouting, probably getting an architectural understanding of the burnt-out castrum before scrambling back, reporting all the detail to Deadpan, who’d draw it all out neat and tidy so that even Zoomies would get be able to navigate with it. He figured they would have the first round of information gathering done by sunset, then be back to the proper camp with him to rest before heading out for round two. Mismatch knew her way around a stake-out; as long as she took Deadpan with her and left Cards to manage Zoomies, they’d be fine.</p>
<hr/>
<h4>
  <b>“Step two: execute the plan.”</b>
</h4>
<hr/><p>Haldgeyss was praying to Halone or Oschon, whichever would do the job, that they’d only get to two steps out of the four he’d taught them. That they’d just execute the plan and leave.</p><p>It was likely, but...well, he wasn’t an idiot. Sometimes surprises happened, and it was better to be emotionally prepared for them. That’s why he had told them the other two steps. To ready his kids.</p><p>Their objective was simple: R&amp;D wanted a magitek bob from a walker. His kids would get it by taking from the leftover repair supplies for the Garlean vanguard units—solidly textbook stuff. Hells, if <em>adventurers </em>could do it, his kids could do it.</p><p>From his hidden perch, he watched them start their plan.</p><p>Cards, dressed up in stolen Garlean armor, approached the base with a “stolen” chocobo cart. Haldgeyss knew Mismatch was inside one of the boxes, hidden amongst supplies that the abandoned Garleans desperately need. He knew Cards can lie like most folk breath; that shouldn’t be a problem.</p><p>He knew Zoomies was back with Deadpan, probably bouncing from foot to foot, wanting to play the distraction of sugar-high adventurer. Deadpan’s probably too busy being high strung to care about his partner’s whimsy. </p><p>And...well, everything seemed to go all according to plan. All the moving parts that Haldgeyss could see moved how he was sure they were meant to move.</p><p>But then, he always did have to remember step three.</p>
<hr/>
<h4>
  <b>“Step three: expect the plan to go off the rails.”</b>
</h4>
<hr/><p>There was shouting. More than before. The tone of it raised the hair on the back of Haldgeyss’s neck. It reminded him too strongly of all the times the Dravanians would whip out some new draconic secret and kill hundreds.</p><p>It all seemed to play in slow motion as he stood frozen. Everything seemed to go silent, even as the sight before him <b>burst </b>with implied sound (Zoomies shouting the words <em> “Crazy Garlean nutter,” </em> for instance), as all he could hear were Mismatch’s words.</p><p>
  <em> “How am I not anxious? My secret is that I’m anxious about everything, but...I always remember that you guys are with me. Where people go as one, there is life. And life is beautiful and chaotic, but...in teamwork, of all us working together, there’s hope.” </em>
</p><p>“Twelve have mercy...” Haldgeyss took off his helmet, holding it to his chest, muttering as he bent his knees to leave his perch and go save his kids. “Let them be lucky...please, Gods, I’m begging you-”</p>
<hr/>
<h4>
  <b>“Step four: throw away the plan.”</b>
</h4>
<hr/><p>The scene before him exploded. Literally. He didn’t know what went wrong or where it went wrong (though he had a sneaking suspicion it was Zoomies), but a blaze burned through the ceruleum pipes around the castrum. In the open space of the castrum, it moved fast and grew.</p><p>But...he saw movement, at the edge. The flames <em>danced </em>as they stopped expanding. They drew back as if time itself was reversing and progressing at the same time. But they didn’t stop going back to where they grew from: they flowed upwards, towards one of the towers. Haldgeyss’s eyes followed the flames, seeing Mismatch...he couldn’t fully comprehend it. The flame went into her mouth as if she was doing something as mundane as slurping water out of a canteen.</p><p>Everyone seemed frozen, a bit crispy, as they looked up at her like Haldgeyss was. From this distance, Haldgeyss shouldn’t have been able to see her eyes all that well, but he damn well could see the ethereal blue glow that bled in fiery tears into the air. He could see traces of fire from her heaving exhales.</p><p>But even a damn fool like him couldn’t miss the sweeping wings of flame burst from her back. She lunged at the Garleans, bird and cat in one movement, swooping and shrieking and hissing.</p><p>Haldgeyss shook himself out of his stupor and jumped down, shouting at his three boys, “MOVE IT! NOW!”</p><p>The three idiots looked at him and ran towards him like lost ducks. He led them in a lesson that no bastard soon forgets: </p><p>
  <em> how to run like hell. </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Ganzhyllsyn held the magitek bob in his hands and looked at his three boys. “What. Happened.”</p><p>The three looked to each other. Cards spoke up. “It started with me, sir. A Garlean saw through my cover and started getting aggressive. Omar-”</p><p>“I did what any bloody idiot with a brain would do! I defended my fellow private from an ‘ostile piece o’ garbage!” Zoomies looked defiant. “Not my fault we ‘pparently picked the guy’s worst day in ‘is life and he decided to do something bloody <em>stupid! </em> S’ a...Deps, what’s that math word, v-starter-”</p><p>“Variable, Omar.” Deadpan was looking at his hands. “Variable.”</p><p>“Was an unforeseen variable, sir!” Zoomies looked like he was gonna throw his hands in Ganzhyllsyn’s face if the sergeant disagreed. “I mean, really, who throws a grenade into a ceruleum vat? Bloody nutter-”</p><p>“Alright.” Ganzhyllsyn took a deep breath. “Alrighty then. The three of you can thank the Twelve because you all got <em>obscenely </em>lucky. I’ve seen shite like that take out whole platoons of infantry. If Mi- Rhivesa hadn’t-”</p><p>“What <em> was </em> that?” Deadpan shrieked. “That wasn’t natural, and no magical studies I’ve heard of have ever managed such a thing-”</p><p>“Shut your mouth, Deadpan.” Ganzhyllsyn gently pat Depan on the head. “Deep breaths. Count your numbers.”</p><p>“One-two-three, one-two-three,” Depan whispered, quietly hugging Ganzhyllsyn’s forearm. Ganzhyllsyn let him.</p><p>“Whatever the mechanics of what happened to you three,” Ganzhyllsyn replied, “it was a bloody miracle. So I think we can <em> all </em> agree that Private Mismatch doesn’t have to hide and eavesdrop, right boys?”</p><p>There was a rustle behind him. Then slow, quiet as a coeurl’s paws, footsteps.</p><p>“Is everyone okay?” Mahri asked.</p><p>His boys were all stupid-silent, looking at her, so Haldgeyss spoke for them after turning around. “They’re all a little singed, but no burns or anything.”</p><p>She gave a large sigh, her whole body losing a bit of the rigid tension holding it up. “Thank the gods.” Mahri shuffled awkwardly before turning and starting to jog away.</p><p>“OI, MISMATCH!” Haldgeyss shouted.</p><p>She stopped on a gil, looking back at him with the wide, mismatched eyes he knew her for.</p><p>“Who gave ye permission to be dismissed? Get your scrawny arse over here; you’ve got some gratitude to receive.”</p><p>Mahri blinked slowly before almost frantically scrambling back over to them. She looked at the boys, who were all still looking at her like she was a Warrior of Light herself.</p><p>Cards, the smartest of the bunch, reached out and ruffled her hair, same he always did after they did a good training mission. “Thanks, Rhivesa. Guess now we know why you like cinnamon, huh?”</p><p>“It um...it tastes like good fire,” Mismatch awkwardly answered, smiling sheepishly. “Though uh, that was really greasy fire, back there.”</p><p>“Oh my gods, how did it taste?” Zoomies asked in a vast, fast exhale. “Bet it was like Cards’s-”</p><p>“Remy,” Cards interrupted him. “You idiots can call me Remy. We almost died together, y’all get that much.”</p><p>Haldgeyss hid a smirk to himself, internally applauding Cards for successfully distracting Zoomies with a new shiny fact. He looked down at Deadpan, who was still looking at Mahri. But less like he thought she would explode and more like she was one of his arcanima formulas. Haldgeyss gave the kid a nudge, and he looked up at Haldgeyss before scooting over to Mismatch. The two fell into quiet, familiar chatter, Deadpan opening his grimoire and pointing at things and Mismatch tilting her head with a hungry curiosity that was simply her brand.</p><p>By the end of the night, all of them swore to never mention how they got out of this one. Soon, the other Privates from all departments started calling them <b>Ganzhyllsyn’s Ghosts </b>because, by all accounts they had heard, the four of them should be <b>dead</b>.</p><p>But here they were, still standing.</p>
<hr/><p>Haldgeyss felt small, looking at the building in front of him. He remembered the old one, back before the strange carbuncle incident. This one actually fit the heart of the levy’s commander, so he was, of course, immediately intimidated.</p><p>He walked inside and was immediately directed to the right places. Didn’t see Maeve, thank Halone, he wouldn’t survive that. Must’ve been busy somewhere, probably scaring the day- and nightlights out of some pencil pusher for doing a form wrong and giving her more work. Maybe she was taking a nap. There had to be a tomestone involved, regardless.</p><p>He walked up to the big door and slowly knocked.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Haldgeyss walked in, seeing the larger than life roegadyn himself. “Mornin’ Commander Ostulmsyn.”</p><p>Ostulmsyn looked up and immediately grinned. “Haldgeyss! It’s been...gods, how long has it been?”</p><p>“Ages, sir.”</p><p>“Come in, come in. How’s Maelstrom life treating you? Better than what you left?”</p><p>“Aye, no Dzemael lordlings sneering down at me or making me kill kids.” Haldgeyss scratched the back of his neck before his mind could summon the sound of screaming dragonets to haunt him. He needed to be <em>in </em>the moment. “I hate to be that bastard, sir, but I’ve got a favor to ask even if I’ve no bloody right to, considering you gave me my own second chance.”</p><p>Ostulmsyn dropped the cheery catch-up demeanor and looked at him more like a concerned father than Haldgeyss deserved. “What is it? You’re...teaching these days, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Aye, sir, and that’s what I’m here about. One of my kids...I don’t trust other commanders with ‘er.”</p><p>Ostulmsyn gently moved Haldgeyss’s living carcass into a chair. “Tell me from the beginning.”</p><p>“She’s good. From the sounds of things, she’s been breaking into places since before she could walk,” Haldgeyss replied. “Doesn’t even leave fingerprint smudges. But...” Haldgeyss struggled a moment. Does he tell the truth? Would Commander Sylbfohc “Velvetheart” Ostulmsyn believe him? Haldgeyss changed tacts from what he originally planned. “...she’s soft. Too kind. I think other commanders would ruin that.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Haldgeyss sighed deeply. “I don’t want her to be like me. She wants to help the whole bloody world, but...I think some of the other commanders interested in her would turn her assassin. I <em> tried </em>getting her into other departments: lass has got a mind sharper than a cutlass and is a treasure trove of aetherological nonsense; she’d fit right in with R&amp;D with her tricky hands. But the up-and-ups on high, they don’t listen. They see her flipping and flying through obstacle courses and passing tests with flying colors, and they lock her into Internal Affairs. Shut down my suggestions. But I had me an idea.”</p><p>“Dangerous things sometimes, ideas,” Ostulmsyn replied. “But you’ve a good track record; try me.”</p><p>“Your folks are all gonna be the first Air Troops. What’s a better place for a girl that makes parkour look like flight than up in an airship? And you’ll not be a pigheaded oaf and use her as a weapon. You’re actually one of the bloody <em> good </em> lot in charge.” Haldgeyss was also moderately sure that Ostulmsyn was the only commander he could think of with the combination of the sheer balls not to be afraid of the girl and a big enough heart to understand her. “Just...look over her file and consider her for me, alright?”</p><p>“I’ll promise to consider. And I’ll do my best, Haldgeyss. Just like I did for a lost Knight of Dzemael, ages ago.”</p><p>Haldgeyss gave him a salute to hide his tears of relief, but the big oaf pulled him into a half hug. “Visit more often, you grouchy coeurl,” the commander teased him. “I promise, Maeve doesn’t bite.”</p><p>The sergeant flashed back to the time Maeve almost, for a joke it seemed in retrospect, bit him. “Are you sure about that?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fun easter egg! The quote Mahri says that Haldgeyss thinks back on is a quote of Louisoix's from 1.0! This isn't relevant! I promise! :3c</p></blockquote></div></div>
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